It is likely that most of you reading this were at my wedding, but there are people who were not able to make it to the wedding that still might read this, so let me explain the unnecessarily poetic title of today's post.
When JT and I were planning our wedding, there was really only one thing I knew that I definitely wanted to do, and had known for some time (since I was 14 or 15 and dreaming of getting married). I didn't want to do a fancy unity candle ceremony or a sand pouring unity ceremony, I wanted to pour paint. Now for many, that is going to sound super weird and cliche? Like duh, you're an "artist", of course you want to be all artsy and pour paint. Others are going to think it is a cool idea, different. Well, if I am honest, and I certainly try to be, I didn't really want to be either of those things, artsy or cool, when I thought of the idea. (I want to be very artsy and cool, but this was not part of that.)
Now, many are going to ask, why not the fancy candle or sand?
WARNING: If you did either of these things at your wedding, I am sure it was lovely and that it meant a lot to you, I am not saying that these are bad things, just that I wanted to do something a little different and more permanent.
Candle- You blow them out in the end. They burn out. The longevity of a candle that you would burn in a unity ceremony is approximately, according to the internet, 6 hours maximum. I could always have chosen to burn a bath and body works 3 wick candle at my ceremony, and have it last anywhere from 24-36 hours, but still by the next day, it is burnt out or blown out. I didn't want that to be a symbol of my marriage.
Sand- I'm not going to lie, mixing two colors of sand together can be very cool and artsy, and it can also be a beautiful picture of joining two people together in marriage. Great, so why not do this? My sister's mother-in-law said, it wouldn't be easy and it would definitely take time, but in the end you could still separate each grain of sand and put it back, creating the two separate colors again. Maybe there would be a few strays, but they would not be one anymore. It is kind of like people who come into our lives, impact us, and leave; there is a little reminder that they were once there, but they are not there now.
I hope that made sense, and didn't just sound like a weirdo talking about separating sand.
So, I didn't want to do those things, you get it, but why paint?
When JT and I poured two different colors of paint together, we created an entirely new color. It was light or dark, it was in between, it was a combination of his paint and mine, and I mean an actual combination. There is no way that you could ever take that jar and separate each original paint color out. If you pour half into one jar and half in the other, you just have two jars of us; there isn't a JT jar and a Sarah jar anymore, just an us jar.
In order for the paint to pour properly in the ceremony, I had to add some water to the acrylic paint. For those of you who know anything about paint and water, if you leave acrylic paint with water in it for a longer period of time, it begins to separate. Still the same color, still only an us, but the us is beginning to look a little scattered and separated. The jar needs to be shaken. After I got married, I put the jar on the bookshelf in our living room, and after two or three weeks, I began to notice that the paint in the jar was a little separated and needed to be shaken. That is when it hit me, I had this epic, beautiful illustration for marriage sitting on my bookshelf. JT and I are one; there is not separating us, we are married, and we will be that way for the rest of our lives. BUT. That does not mean that our marriage will always be a perfect mixture, we won't always be a beautiful solid shade of blue. We have to shake the jar. We have to constantly be working on our marriage, refocusing on God, thinking selflessly, putting each other first, picking our arguments, forgiving no matter what, saying we are sorry, and loving well.
Every time I shake the jar on my bookshelf, I think about my marriage. It reminds me to be intentional and to love my husband well no matter what. While I loved everything about my wedding, the pouring of paint was definitely one of my favorite things. It will always have a special place in my heart and on my bookshelf.
When JT and I were planning our wedding, there was really only one thing I knew that I definitely wanted to do, and had known for some time (since I was 14 or 15 and dreaming of getting married). I didn't want to do a fancy unity candle ceremony or a sand pouring unity ceremony, I wanted to pour paint. Now for many, that is going to sound super weird and cliche? Like duh, you're an "artist", of course you want to be all artsy and pour paint. Others are going to think it is a cool idea, different. Well, if I am honest, and I certainly try to be, I didn't really want to be either of those things, artsy or cool, when I thought of the idea. (I want to be very artsy and cool, but this was not part of that.)
Now, many are going to ask, why not the fancy candle or sand?
WARNING: If you did either of these things at your wedding, I am sure it was lovely and that it meant a lot to you, I am not saying that these are bad things, just that I wanted to do something a little different and more permanent.
Candle- You blow them out in the end. They burn out. The longevity of a candle that you would burn in a unity ceremony is approximately, according to the internet, 6 hours maximum. I could always have chosen to burn a bath and body works 3 wick candle at my ceremony, and have it last anywhere from 24-36 hours, but still by the next day, it is burnt out or blown out. I didn't want that to be a symbol of my marriage.
Sand- I'm not going to lie, mixing two colors of sand together can be very cool and artsy, and it can also be a beautiful picture of joining two people together in marriage. Great, so why not do this? My sister's mother-in-law said, it wouldn't be easy and it would definitely take time, but in the end you could still separate each grain of sand and put it back, creating the two separate colors again. Maybe there would be a few strays, but they would not be one anymore. It is kind of like people who come into our lives, impact us, and leave; there is a little reminder that they were once there, but they are not there now.
I hope that made sense, and didn't just sound like a weirdo talking about separating sand.
So, I didn't want to do those things, you get it, but why paint?
When JT and I poured two different colors of paint together, we created an entirely new color. It was light or dark, it was in between, it was a combination of his paint and mine, and I mean an actual combination. There is no way that you could ever take that jar and separate each original paint color out. If you pour half into one jar and half in the other, you just have two jars of us; there isn't a JT jar and a Sarah jar anymore, just an us jar.
In order for the paint to pour properly in the ceremony, I had to add some water to the acrylic paint. For those of you who know anything about paint and water, if you leave acrylic paint with water in it for a longer period of time, it begins to separate. Still the same color, still only an us, but the us is beginning to look a little scattered and separated. The jar needs to be shaken. After I got married, I put the jar on the bookshelf in our living room, and after two or three weeks, I began to notice that the paint in the jar was a little separated and needed to be shaken. That is when it hit me, I had this epic, beautiful illustration for marriage sitting on my bookshelf. JT and I are one; there is not separating us, we are married, and we will be that way for the rest of our lives. BUT. That does not mean that our marriage will always be a perfect mixture, we won't always be a beautiful solid shade of blue. We have to shake the jar. We have to constantly be working on our marriage, refocusing on God, thinking selflessly, putting each other first, picking our arguments, forgiving no matter what, saying we are sorry, and loving well.
Every time I shake the jar on my bookshelf, I think about my marriage. It reminds me to be intentional and to love my husband well no matter what. While I loved everything about my wedding, the pouring of paint was definitely one of my favorite things. It will always have a special place in my heart and on my bookshelf.