Being an adult
By Sarah Lewis
Being an adult is hard. It is expensive, heavy, and looks a lot like Ikea furniture. It looks easy at first, even doable, until you realize the instructions are poorly drawn pictures or in Swedish. You receive tools in the box but they actually bend.
We all have to pretend to be adults sometimes, at least I don't have to pretend alone. Today is the 10th of April, which means in 3 days I will have been married for a month. Let that sink in. I think that makes me an adult, but I am not entirely sure, but I know that JT and I had a very adult week, and it was exhausting.
I am convinced that the government has created a way to make people think twice about getting married. They call it "changing your last name". Here are the things you have to get your name changed on:
Social Security Card
Driver's License
Bank Accounts
Post Office
Court House
Passport
All Jobs
Anyone want to guess how many locations this involves? Or the time? Or the money?
Too many. So many that people have actually created companies that you can hire to do all of this for you. But no, I am an adult, I can change my name. Tuesday was the day and I did it with only a minor moment of convincing myself. Basically, I gave myself a pep talk on Monday that went something like this: "You can do this. You are an adult. The government wants you to drive from Monroe to Winder to Loganville to Bethlehem and back to Loganville, fine. You can do that. (Mental Note: Bring snacks and husband)." That is right folks, my husband was a trooper and went with me to 6 different locations, waited in many a line, laughed at my mediocre jokes and inability to have normal conversations with government officials, and supplied the frequent, much needed high fives after every stop/accomplishment. He is great.
That showed me a lot of love. The fact that he did not complain about being dragged all over Walton county meant more than he knows. See post Week 2-3 for love languages: This fulfilled all of my love languages :)
An important key to marriage is realizing that being an adult is great but difficult. Examples below:
You can get on an airplane whenever you want. You have to pay for the plane ticket.
You can actually make whatever you want for dinner. Your body will tell you that eating junk food is not great.
Staying up as late as you want. You have to get up at 8 am for work.
Work Note: I've always said never work a job that you do not love, I mean that. There is that saying that says "If you enjoy what you are doing then you never work a day in your life." I am going to be honest here, I love my jobs, but there are many days that feel like work. I am really grateful that my husband understands and can relate to my job, because he has very similar jobs. Many people never get the opportunity to work with their spouse, I love that about JT and I.
When reading articles or books on Marriage, there is always a chapter (normally the shortest in the book) about having fun together. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. The reason that this is normally a glossed over topic is because it is assumed that people know how to have fun with their spouse, but what if you don't?
Hear me out. When you get a day off, what do you do? Is it a girls night out? Is it the ever cliche "go golfing" (that most movies make us believe is a thing, seriously, how many people actually go golfing)? Do your plans normally include your spouse? I'm not saying it is bad to spend time with other people or to want a girls night. What I am saying is that you should want to hang out with your spouse. JT and I love going to the movies. Yes, we have Netflix. Yes, we go to Redbox and occasionally actually purchase DVD's (I know, right? Who still buys DVD's?). But we love to go to the movies. It is expensive (ridiculously), but we love it. Seeing a movie and drinking a Coke Icee (that is right, we buy snacks even) is something we really enjoy, it is worth the money for us. Maybe it isn't for you, maybe going to a really nice restaurant or on a long hike.
When was the last time you had an actual Date Night? People cancel these way too much. I think it is time to have fun with your spouse. This can include children if you want, but at least once a month, let it be you and your spouse laughing until your stomach hurts or just enjoying each others presence. JT and I are super grateful that we are able to have a date night every week and this time is always the highlight of my week. Note: I've found that the things I make a priority always happen. Date night is a priority, it always happens; date night is a "if I have the time", it becomes rare.
To end this week's post, I'd like to offer up some date night ideas. JT and I have two categories for Date Nights:
(For those with kids add babysitter)
If you are too tired to venture into the outside world: (if you fall under the kids category, lock your bedroom door and only come out in case of emergencies)
Food:
1) Order Pizza. There is a reason Pizza companies deliver.
2) Make a recipe you've never made. (if it fails, see #1)
3) Make an old staple, something easy and simple. (If you can't decide what to make, see #1)
4) Popcorn. Also, cheese dip.
Entertainment:
1) Watch a movie on mute and make up the dialogue.
2) Watch Family Feud and play along. This is a huge confidence booster.
3) Play an obscure, overly complicated board/card game with your own rules.
If you feel like going into the outside world: (For me this means putting on something besides sweatpants.)
Food:
1) Go to your favorite restaurant. It is your favorite for a reason, don't feel bad for eating their every time. (Which wich)
2) Try the hole in the wall restaurants. Note: These are always the best, seriously. My dad used to take me to the sketchiest joints, and they were always way better. (Seriously, Chili's is not that good.)
3) Open the Map app on your phone. Type in the name of a city nearby or just use the location thing in the bottom corner. Then type in food. Normally, a list of the closest or best places will pop up. Read the Yelp reviews, look at the pictures. (Shout out to Cafe M in Savannah for teaching me the magic of chocolate croissants.)
4) Picnic. For those of us who like to do outdoorsy things, go on a hike or walk in a park. Find a good spot, never the picnic tables, and enjoy a meal. Think finger foods, I know potato salad and jello with fruit sounds like a good (terrible) idea, but there is a reason a sandwich was invented. Note: Avoid sticky foods. Trust me.
Entertainment:
1) Go to the movies and buy a snack. That always feels like a treat.
2) Go to Barnes and Noble. Each of you can find a book you will enjoy, or read the same book and make comments to each other. Or just people watch. It is literally the best place to do it. Note: It is okay to laugh at strangers. Don't be mean or laugh at someone else's misery, but if there is a man with a large mustache eating a muffin while humming Dora the Explorer it is okay to be entertained.
3) Go to a Braves game. (Atlanta based) Buy the hot dog and refillable cup. Yell at the players if you'd like. Dance to the same 7 songs that they play on repeat. Laugh.
The Don'ts of Date Night
Cell Phones- Do not play games on your phone on date night. Do not check Social Media. (There are minor exceptions) Be with your spouse. Enjoy that. Give them your attention.
Going with other people- It is fun to hang out with other people, to "double-date", but there should be a time with you and your spouse spend time having fun alone. JT and I love hanging out with other people, but we know that the time we have together, alone is really important.
Bowling- Only do this with other people, trust me.
That was long, so for those of you who made it this far, comment below your favorite date night ideas, or something you'd like to hear me write about as a newlywed.
By Sarah Lewis
Being an adult is hard. It is expensive, heavy, and looks a lot like Ikea furniture. It looks easy at first, even doable, until you realize the instructions are poorly drawn pictures or in Swedish. You receive tools in the box but they actually bend.
We all have to pretend to be adults sometimes, at least I don't have to pretend alone. Today is the 10th of April, which means in 3 days I will have been married for a month. Let that sink in. I think that makes me an adult, but I am not entirely sure, but I know that JT and I had a very adult week, and it was exhausting.
I am convinced that the government has created a way to make people think twice about getting married. They call it "changing your last name". Here are the things you have to get your name changed on:
Social Security Card
Driver's License
Bank Accounts
Post Office
Court House
Passport
All Jobs
Anyone want to guess how many locations this involves? Or the time? Or the money?
Too many. So many that people have actually created companies that you can hire to do all of this for you. But no, I am an adult, I can change my name. Tuesday was the day and I did it with only a minor moment of convincing myself. Basically, I gave myself a pep talk on Monday that went something like this: "You can do this. You are an adult. The government wants you to drive from Monroe to Winder to Loganville to Bethlehem and back to Loganville, fine. You can do that. (Mental Note: Bring snacks and husband)." That is right folks, my husband was a trooper and went with me to 6 different locations, waited in many a line, laughed at my mediocre jokes and inability to have normal conversations with government officials, and supplied the frequent, much needed high fives after every stop/accomplishment. He is great.
That showed me a lot of love. The fact that he did not complain about being dragged all over Walton county meant more than he knows. See post Week 2-3 for love languages: This fulfilled all of my love languages :)
An important key to marriage is realizing that being an adult is great but difficult. Examples below:
You can get on an airplane whenever you want. You have to pay for the plane ticket.
You can actually make whatever you want for dinner. Your body will tell you that eating junk food is not great.
Staying up as late as you want. You have to get up at 8 am for work.
Work Note: I've always said never work a job that you do not love, I mean that. There is that saying that says "If you enjoy what you are doing then you never work a day in your life." I am going to be honest here, I love my jobs, but there are many days that feel like work. I am really grateful that my husband understands and can relate to my job, because he has very similar jobs. Many people never get the opportunity to work with their spouse, I love that about JT and I.
When reading articles or books on Marriage, there is always a chapter (normally the shortest in the book) about having fun together. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. The reason that this is normally a glossed over topic is because it is assumed that people know how to have fun with their spouse, but what if you don't?
Hear me out. When you get a day off, what do you do? Is it a girls night out? Is it the ever cliche "go golfing" (that most movies make us believe is a thing, seriously, how many people actually go golfing)? Do your plans normally include your spouse? I'm not saying it is bad to spend time with other people or to want a girls night. What I am saying is that you should want to hang out with your spouse. JT and I love going to the movies. Yes, we have Netflix. Yes, we go to Redbox and occasionally actually purchase DVD's (I know, right? Who still buys DVD's?). But we love to go to the movies. It is expensive (ridiculously), but we love it. Seeing a movie and drinking a Coke Icee (that is right, we buy snacks even) is something we really enjoy, it is worth the money for us. Maybe it isn't for you, maybe going to a really nice restaurant or on a long hike.
When was the last time you had an actual Date Night? People cancel these way too much. I think it is time to have fun with your spouse. This can include children if you want, but at least once a month, let it be you and your spouse laughing until your stomach hurts or just enjoying each others presence. JT and I are super grateful that we are able to have a date night every week and this time is always the highlight of my week. Note: I've found that the things I make a priority always happen. Date night is a priority, it always happens; date night is a "if I have the time", it becomes rare.
To end this week's post, I'd like to offer up some date night ideas. JT and I have two categories for Date Nights:
(For those with kids add babysitter)
If you are too tired to venture into the outside world: (if you fall under the kids category, lock your bedroom door and only come out in case of emergencies)
Food:
1) Order Pizza. There is a reason Pizza companies deliver.
2) Make a recipe you've never made. (if it fails, see #1)
3) Make an old staple, something easy and simple. (If you can't decide what to make, see #1)
4) Popcorn. Also, cheese dip.
Entertainment:
1) Watch a movie on mute and make up the dialogue.
2) Watch Family Feud and play along. This is a huge confidence booster.
3) Play an obscure, overly complicated board/card game with your own rules.
If you feel like going into the outside world: (For me this means putting on something besides sweatpants.)
Food:
1) Go to your favorite restaurant. It is your favorite for a reason, don't feel bad for eating their every time. (Which wich)
2) Try the hole in the wall restaurants. Note: These are always the best, seriously. My dad used to take me to the sketchiest joints, and they were always way better. (Seriously, Chili's is not that good.)
3) Open the Map app on your phone. Type in the name of a city nearby or just use the location thing in the bottom corner. Then type in food. Normally, a list of the closest or best places will pop up. Read the Yelp reviews, look at the pictures. (Shout out to Cafe M in Savannah for teaching me the magic of chocolate croissants.)
4) Picnic. For those of us who like to do outdoorsy things, go on a hike or walk in a park. Find a good spot, never the picnic tables, and enjoy a meal. Think finger foods, I know potato salad and jello with fruit sounds like a good (terrible) idea, but there is a reason a sandwich was invented. Note: Avoid sticky foods. Trust me.
Entertainment:
1) Go to the movies and buy a snack. That always feels like a treat.
2) Go to Barnes and Noble. Each of you can find a book you will enjoy, or read the same book and make comments to each other. Or just people watch. It is literally the best place to do it. Note: It is okay to laugh at strangers. Don't be mean or laugh at someone else's misery, but if there is a man with a large mustache eating a muffin while humming Dora the Explorer it is okay to be entertained.
3) Go to a Braves game. (Atlanta based) Buy the hot dog and refillable cup. Yell at the players if you'd like. Dance to the same 7 songs that they play on repeat. Laugh.
The Don'ts of Date Night
Cell Phones- Do not play games on your phone on date night. Do not check Social Media. (There are minor exceptions) Be with your spouse. Enjoy that. Give them your attention.
Going with other people- It is fun to hang out with other people, to "double-date", but there should be a time with you and your spouse spend time having fun alone. JT and I love hanging out with other people, but we know that the time we have together, alone is really important.
Bowling- Only do this with other people, trust me.
That was long, so for those of you who made it this far, comment below your favorite date night ideas, or something you'd like to hear me write about as a newlywed.